Customer: “I want a fearsome battle scene between a bear and a bull, with horns and claws and bloodletting. I want a patriotic tribute with stars and stripes, an eagle, swords, golden arrows and military artillery. I want a tangle of thorny roses. Lots of them. I want a spewing oil rig, lotto-sized dollar signs, rattle snakes and roosters… and I want the rooster tails to mimic the artistic energy of the aforementioned oil well. I want a lifelike portrait of my hunting dog ‘Champ.’ I want a herd of wild mustangs thundering across my cowboy boots. I want a hundred dollar bill so real looking I could get arrested for counterfeiting.”

Bootmaker: “Yer crazy.”

Peter Main: “What color do you want those roses?”

Photo courtesy of www.PeterMain.com.