Ballad of Dogie Munroe

by Hal “Nevada” Swift

Lately I’ve noticed that some of my friends
Aint’ lookin’ like cowpokes as such
Now I kept my mouth shut when ball caps come in
But sneakers is dang near too much

A fellow come in the casino last night
An’ set down by Dogie Munroe
He thought that Dogie’s a farmer he knew
An’ said he thought cowpokes was slow

An’ Dogie said Yeah what exactly’s that mean
The dude said you know, really dumb
The best o’the cowpokes that I’ve ever seen
Was jist a ol’ rodeo bum

The next thing y’know there’s a heckuva fight
The dude, he got punched in the jaw
An’ Dogie’d of stood there and fought’im all night
But the bartender called in the Law

An’ when they come in they all wanted t’know
Exactly who started the brawl
The dude said, that farmer, named Dogie Munroe
It’s him was the cause of it all

Ol’ Dogie said, you call me farmer once more
I’ll kick yer ol’ rear end so hard
Yer nose’ll be bleedin’ all over the floor
An’ maybe all over the yard

The sheriff said Dogie, as most cowboys go
Yer not one t’go start a fight
I’d like you t’tell me, an’ I’d like t’know
What started the trouble tonight

Dogie said this boy said cowpokes is slow
In fact he said cowpokes is dumb
I grant you I did it, I struck the first blow
An’ poked at his eye with m’thumb

The sheriff said Dude, now you tell me what’s true
You really say cowpokes is slow?
I jist cain’t imagine a young pup like you
Would say that t’Dogie Munroe

The dude said most farmers don’t get so upset
An’ who the heck’s Dogie Munroe?
The sheriff said out of the cowpokes I’ve met
Ol’ Dogie’s the toughest I know

The dude said, a cowpoke? No wonder he’s swearin’
I thought he’s a farmer I knew
But how would I know with them sneakers he’s wearin’
Now ain’t that a fine howdy-do?

The sheriff said sneakers and cowpokes don’t mix
It matters not who you may meet
An’, Dogie your troubles some day I cain’t fix
With weird things like them on yer feet

When you wear them sneakers boy, somebody rude
Is gonna mistake who you are
They’re gonna think you’re a visitin’ dude
Jist hangin’ aroun’ in the bar

Then he said to Dogie, Ol’ Buddy, that’s it
If you don’t like gettin’ took down
You gotta promise me that you will quit
A wearin’ them sneakers t’town

An’ Dogie said no one kin tell me t’quit
A wearin’ these shoes on m’feet
Next thing that you know there’ll be somebody say
What food that a cowpoke kin eat

And so ends the ballad of Dogie Munroe
A better man never drew breath
But wearin’ them sneakers wherever he’d go
Was finally the cause of his death

(NOTE: I’d like to thank Mr. Nevada Swift for sharing his work, and providing all of us with a couple new pages to this poetry book!)


© Hal Swift, 2001. All poems are copyright the artist and should not be reproduced without permission.